I write this blog with the evening news playing in the background, dinner in the oven and my son reading to himself on the couch. We are all still damp from our afternoon dip in our backyard pool. Life feels OK right now.
While we floated in the pool this afternoon, the sun beating down on us, I felt so complete and at peace. At one point my husband and I were holding my son who had his head laid alternately on my shoulder and then my husbands. I thought, "these are the best days of my life'. Then I thought that seems so weird. How can I feel so at peace in one moment and so depressed and lost in the next.
I recognize that feelings are not mutually exclusive. I can feel all of these and feel them completely and fully. It feels wild to me though to feel like I'd never want to be anywhere else and then want to close my eyes and turn back the clock. The horrible thing is, if I go back I lose and gain so much. And you can't go back anyway... right??
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