Those that come calling and those that GO running!

It's been interesting for me to see how my friends have responded to my Dad's death.  There are some who are very supportive and call/e-mail/text quite often or on a regular basis to see how I am or if I need anything.  Some of these people are friends I've had for years and some I haven't seen in years.  Some are friends I am close with and some that I know in passing.  Really, it's interesting, there is no rhyme or reason.  It's nice to hear from people I haven't heard from in a while. It was surprising to receive cards from people I've not been in contact with for a while.  It was so touching!

The flip side of the coin is those that I really thought would be supportive and I don't hear from.  Even friends I consider to be close friends who don't call/e-mail/text ever.  Friends with whom I've shared many experiences and emotions with over the years of our friendships.  Friends I assumed I could always count on.  It's not that I don't feel like I can "count" on those friends but it sure does change my perspective.

Someone told me that people just don't know how to respond so some do nothing while some do everything.  I guess I could understand that.  I mean, until my Dad died, I had NO idea what it felt like to lose a parent.  Or to feel such pain.  BUT... I knew it hurt and I knew that I had to do something for friends who had lost parents and unfortunately I have quite a few friends who have lost parents.  I might not have always done the right thing but I always did something. 

I'm trying not to be ungrateful or rude but I think it's just slightly confusing for me.  I know that until you experience this you'll never know the depth of the pain.  It has changed my perspective and I will, in the future, respond in a much different way for having been through this. 

I am grateful for all of my friends and family.  Sure there are some that I wish had stepped up.  There are some that I wish had said something/anything and didn't.  The truth is while it's mostly about me, I also feel like it reflects on my Dad too and that breaks my heart.  My Dad who would do anything for anyone.  My Dad who spent his life trying to make people happy.  I wish I could separate these feelings but I'm not sure I'm there... yet.