Dreams...

Beginning the night my Dad died, I begged him every night before I fell asleep to come to me in a dream to tell me he was OK or that he loved me.  Or both!!  I recognize that not being able to let go of my despair and need to know he is OK probably hinders this whole plan but I can't help myself. 

I have had two dreams in the last three weeks about my Dad.  I'm not sure I believe that either dream was anything more than a dream but it was still nice to interact with him, just a little bit.  The funny thing is, I thought having a dream about him would make me feel lighter but it actually made me feel sad.  I just can't be pleased. 

I think what I really want is my Dad.  Back.  In my life.  Alive.  Well.  That's not going to happen and that sucks!