My Dad is dead. My Dad passed away. My Dad is gone. There is no easy way to say what needs to be said. No easy way to pass on the news that I don't even really want to share. The other side of that is, I don't want to hold on to the news. I want people to know and I absolutely need the power of prayer and collective positive thought to help me get through.
In addition, my Mom has a list of people she wants called and some of those calls are just downright painful. The first call I made was to my Mom's friend Sharon. She's been my Mom's friend for most of her marriage. Sharon and Mike are very good friends with my parents. They have four kids who are like cousins to us. When I called Sharon, telling her was so painful. She couldn't finish the conversation and had to put her daughter on the line. I knew I was hurting both of them telling them what happened and I hated that.
The hard part about learning how to share about what happened and about my Dad is how to speak ABOUT him. Even today, I can't talk about him in the past tense. It's really hard if I'm saying something about my Mom AND Dad. How do I talk about THEM in the past tense? I mean, they are in the past tense. My Mom is here and my Dad is not. For me, they will always be a they. My parents were married for forty years. That's a long time. It's hard for me to see them as separate people. If it's this hard for me, I can't even imagine how hard it is for my Mom.
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